Winston Churchill said "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen". Now, I'm no Winston Churchill, but I gotta say, that quote is pretty powerful! It's also pretty thought provoking for me. I can stand up and speak when I have something to teach, but to just stand up in front of a crowd...no way! I can also say without a doubt that I am the worst listener on the planet. There, I admit it. I don't listen. To anything or anyone. Don't get me wrong, I hear plenty when I need to, but I don't actually listen very well. Come on folks, can you honestly sit here and judge me? I bet not. When was the last time you actually sat and really listened to someone without thinking about what you were going to say in response? When have you actually looked someone in the eye and heard each and every word to the point of comprehension? I'm not talking about when someone asks you a question. I'm talking about when someone is speaking with you in a real, no-shit conversation. I don't know about you, but I get caught up in what the person is saying and, rudely, start thinking about myself and how I can relate to it. I start my dialogue (sometimes out loud) before the other person has even finished. I've even caught myself answering a question before it was completely asked, only to embarrassingly realize that my answer was not to the actual question posed. UGH! How rude can I be???
Whoa! Slow down there cowgirl. Go easy on yourself! Yes, I have issues with listening, but they don't necessarily make me a bad person. I've said from the beginning that this blog is a self-reflection. A motivator for me to be a better person. The only way to do that is to be totally honest with myself. If this causes judgement, so be it. What's important to remember is that I must not be the judge. People, this is me in all my ugliness. It's me being the raw self that I have to dig to bring out. It's me trying to find the courage to "stand up and speak"! I'm speaking purely from my heart...always have, always will. I know I have faults. I also have many weaknesses. But they don't define who I am overall. The very fact that I'm being honest and recognizing a fault that needs major attention makes me a courageous person. It's what I do about those faults that should be looked at...or judged, if you will.
Everyone on this planet longs to be heard. Everyone on this planet craves attention. It's only human. I've recently come to realize that I both crave the attention and the need to be heard while I'm supposed to be giving the courtesy to others. I've actually caught myself a few times and quickly shut my mouth. I'm not really sure why I do this, but I have a theory. While I don't consider myself a "one upper" by any means, I do like to know that I have similar "things" as those I surround myself with. We all like to feel validated as well. I think that my excitement (yes, excitement, because that's what I feel when I'm in the company of great friends) gets my brain so worked up with the "uh-huh, uh-huh me too, me too" thought process that I forget to just shut the hell up and actually hear, and more importantly, ENJOY, what the other person is saying. I know that this is true for a lot of us...it's obvious when the conversation gets all energetic. The thing that I really need to focus on is that it really doesn't matter that I share similar things, and unless asked, this person isn't looking for validation. What matters is that I devote my entire awareness on the person speaking and what they are speaking about. If when they are finished, and time and/or conversation permits, then I can add my "me too". That's the true art of conversation, and I guess, courage, too.
I received one of my crystally emails today that talked about courage. It said that courage is discovering your authentic self and developing the strength to live your life in accordance with your values. Well, my values have taught me that it is wrong to speak when others are speaking. They have also taught me that it is right to acknowledge weakness, and to work hard to correct it. I'd like to think that I can change this very bad habit overnight, but I know that is not true. It's said that it takes 28 days to form a habit. Why don't we have a challenge here....let's see if for the next 28 days we can be truly courageous people and listen with our hearts rather than just our ears. Devote your attention honestly and with intent. Look people in the eye and hear the words coming out of their mouths. Pin that purple heart of courage on your chest and wear it proudly! I know I will.Life's a beach, and then you live on one....
I’m afraid there’s no denyin’
I’m just a dandy-lion
A fate I don’t deserve
I’m sure I could show my prowess
Be a lion, not a mouse
If I only had the nerve.
Bert Lahr
Cowardly Lion
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