I Am...Who Am I??

It's no great secret that I adore the Dalai Lama.  I missed an opportunity to see him here in Hawaii last year, but the very idea that we were on this tiny island together was comfort enough.  There is something about his kind face and gentle manner that just brings about a calm in me.  When he speaks or I read his words, I feel that everything is going to be okay.  That he really knows what he's talking about.  He's got such an inner peace that I greatly admire.  It's as if things come so easy for him...not things, peace, calm.  I strive to attain that someday.

Audrey Hepburn is also someone I have a slight girl-crush on.  She's one of those women who will remain timelss because of her poise and charm and just the all-around way she carried herself.  Very Jackie O and Princess Grace.  We don't have too many of those women role models anymore.  I love how she went from this beautiful actress to a humanitarian, giving back to the children of the world.  She just commands respect when you see a photo of her or watch one of her movies or hear a story about her.  Again, such a calm and kind presence.  A true inspiration of a woman.  (Of note, she looks so very much like one of my aunts, in her younger days, in this picture).

Of these two people there are so many words used to describe them:  kind, gentle, peace, admirable, calm, poise, charm,role model, humanitarian, actress, beautiful, inspiration.  All positive words.  All words we should, each one of us, strive to attach to the "I am" of ourselves.  This brings me to my topic of the day, who am I? 

I read this blog today, a new one for me.  It's written by a gal who is also a yoga instructor.  She had a negative post on her FB page that caused her some stress.  After some self-analysis, she determined that it didn't matter what others posted or thought of her, only what she thought of herself.  So she posed the challenge (and took it  herself) of completing the sentence  "I am ______".  So, here I am, going to attempt to answer this question.  I'm not going to answer it from what I think other's see in me, but rather what I see in myself.  Here goes:

"I am compassionate, kind, caring, giving, grateful, bitchy (when I need to be), spiritual, crystally, loving, honest, loyal, sexy (or as my hubs would say "smokin"), educated, a fighter, overly self-critical, obsessive, determined, happy, fortunate, loved, stubborn, open-minded (for the most part), organized, a Red Sox fan, a Giants fan, strong, obsessive (sometimes), moody (whatever), eternally working to be non-judgmental, impatient, scared of uncertainty, willing to try, emotional, passionate, courageous, goofy, witty, fair, strong-headed (you can say that again), strong-headed, a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, a friend, a nurse, a motivator, sassy, a writer (I say that loosly), constantly searching for inner peace and balance, intolerant of negativity and toxicity, a work in progress, doing my best".

Whooooh!  That was hard! It's not the easiest thing to be honest with yourself about who YOU think you are.  We tend to bring in what we think other people think of us.  Now, some of these things one might say are a little conceited.  I have to disagree though.  The Dalai Lama says that self-centeredness has no place in human nature, and that I believe, but he also said that we all must have inner values.  Well, how do you develop these inner values?  By what you have learned.  This also includes what you have learned about yourself.  I have learned to be able to define myself with adjectives that I feel best describe me, and therefore, would translate my inner values outward.  Of course this is my own interpretation of the great DL, but if you choose to call me conceited, I'm okay with that.  I certainly don't think too highly of myself, but I do have to have a certain sense of self-respect.  Without it how could I love me, and then, how could I love another?  So, since this is my blog and my thoughts and my opinions, this is what I think of myself, and my self!

As always, I hope that my words cause you to think of your own internal struggles, values and love.  If I can steer one person into the path of their own light, then I have reached my purpose.  This is my journey, but I'd love to share.

Life's a beach, and then you live on one...