The Four Agreements...Check It Out

It's been some time between posts.  This has been one hell of a year for me.  I'm anxious to see what the new year has in store.  It can only be good.  Now, 2014 wasn't all bad, by any means, but suffice it to say that it was such that I'm just going to move on and not reflect/recall any of it.  With this likely being my last post of this year, I'm going to touch on something that will set my intention for 2015.  At some point, I plan to check in with myself and see if my thoughts on this alter at all, which I do expect to happen.  The Four Agreements (by don Miguel Ruiz).  A tiny little book with a huge and powerful impact.  If you haven't yet read it, please do so.  There are so many crystally books that have helped shape my life, but this one is definitely one of the top 3.

As a former Catholic, I still have some deep rooted ties to the religion.  For the record, I am currently a spiritual person but agnostic religiously.  It works for me at the current moment and I don't choose to go into further detail on that.  Guilt is a major part of my life that was drilled into me through religion and the effect it had on my family for generations.  With guilt comes the ideal of sin.  Now, if you live a good life, in the moment and with positive intentions, you really don't have much to worry about by way of sin.  However, to err is human and to some, that "err" can fall under the realm of sin.  I don't necessarily subscribe to the idea that I'm going to go to any particular place, good or bad, once I move from this world, but I do try to be conscious of the intent with which I live my life.  What does this have to do with The Four Agreements?  It's the first one!

Be Impeccable with You Word - This is probably the least of the agreements that I need to focus on.  Being impeccable with your word is not necessarily translated to "do what you say you're going to do".  It's much deeper that that, of course.  It's how you speak, think and act.  I, personally, try never to say anything with intent on hurting myself or others.  Sometimes another's perception of what I say may cause negative feelings within them, but that is theirs to own, and is an entirely different blog post.  What it boils down to is, say what you mean and mean what you say.  Speak words that have positive, loving and truthful intentions.  You can't go wrong if you speak with good intent.  Hold true to those words, too.  As I said, there are some that may not agree with you, may be offended by what you've said, and may claim that you meant to cause hurt.  If in your heart of heart, you had good intentions, then merely direct the person to reflect upon what it is inside of them is causing the negative reactions.  You can not control anything or anyone but you.  Whatever lays outside of the circle of your control is just that, outside of your control.  Let it go and keep chugging along.

Don't Take Anything Personally - Oh my!  This is the toughest agreement for me.  While my mind knows that there is very little in this world that is about me, my heart tends to think differently.  There is so much in this world that I take personally.  This is really bad, as it totally reflects the negative aspect of selfishness.  I don't like to think of selfishness as a negative, but it can be if you dive into the definition.  When we take something that someone else does or says in a personal manner, we are really stirring up deep emotions and insecurities within our own hearts.  We act and react to this in varying ways.  Sometimes its just quick and over, other times it can fester and lead to self-doubt and self-loathing.  Both of these feelings are never any good for us.  I've said a hundred times that what we put out there is what we get in return.  It especially holds true with these two emotions.  The more energy we feed to the negativity in our lives, even if self induced, the more we will have it return to us.  This leads to a vicious cycle that's so hard to get out of.

I let this agreement get away from me this year.  Actually, it's been a couple of years since I redirected my thought process on this.  The coming year is going to be all about letting things roll off my shoulders.  Like water on a duck's back.  I envy those people who are so nonchalant about things and really don't react to the negative intentions of others.  After all, when someone says or does something that offends or hurts us, especially if intentional, it's really all just about that deep root inside of them.  There really is nothing negative that comes from others that has anything at all to do with us.  When we get past this way of thinking, life shines!

Don't Make Assumptions -  This is another hard one for me.  I am horrible at communicating.  Oh sure, I talk A LOT, but actually communicating?  Not so much.  This stumps me because I do have the gift to gab.  From the personal standpoint, I know that I don't always communicate clearly.  I really, really try to be aware of this.  But I'm also at a fault for not trying to clarify with someone what they really mean.  A rule of thumb that I am going to start living by is if something said or done by another causes a negative emotion in me, I will immediately try to clarify this directly with the person.  Immediately is the key here.  The longer I let things go, the bigger they get inside of me.  Often, it's just simple miscommunication, usually on my part because I take things personally.  Easy to fix, easy to avoid.

Life and relationships would be so much more peaceful if we all just communicated our intent with each other.  Say what you want and don't be afraid to ask for it.  Don't beat around the bush, just put it out there.  If you focus on no other agreement, focus on this one.  It can dramatically alter your life!

Always Do Your Best - I think that this is my favorite agreement because it truly is all about you.  What it means is that if you are the best person that you can be at any moment, you are living with true intent.  We have ups and downs in life.  We get sick, we feel grief, and we also have joy.  If we consciously wake with the intent to do the best we can that day, we will.  If you think you can do 10 push ups, then do 11.  You will feel better about yourself, remove the self-doubt and never regret what you've done.  Doing your best each and every day sets you up for positive attraction.

Here's the deal folks, we all have days when we want to just sit on the couch and veg.  That's okay.  Really.  But maybe while you're sitting on the couch watching soaps (are there still soaps on TV?), you jot off a quick email to someone you haven't spoken too in a while, or finally pay those bills that you've been putting off, or take time every hour or so to meditate.  Relax, recoup and add a little extra.  At the end of the day you won't regret "wasting the day".  You will have achieved what you were looking for by sitting on that couch anyway, and have something to show for it.

Happiness starts within. If we take these four little suggestions and apply them to our own hearts, we can't go wrong.  We're all in search of happiness.  Truth is, it lies within us at all times.  We just have to take a second to recognize it.  To release it.  If we practice these simple steps in life, our eyes, hearts and worlds will will reach new levels.  Go ahead, give it a try.  Love and light to you all this holiday season.

Life's a beach, and then you live on one...