**This post was originally written in February and I never got around to actually posting it. Re-reading it has helped to jump start the writers block that I've had these last few months. Stay tuned for more, regular posts to come. I promise. I need it more than you do!**
Wow, what a winter so far. This new year is coming along nicely, which is good since the old year ended on a low. The weather outside is truly frightful lately, it is February in the frozen tundra afterall, and the days are so long. No kidding, I feel like I'm about 95 years old sometimes when 6:30pm rolls around and I'm ready for bed. Oy! New Englanders know all to well what I'm talking about. True to form in my life, and just about everyone else on the planet, there are lots of changes happening. Not just the weather or the 'seasons', if there really are still seasons here, but big, life altering, so much fun, can't wait to happen kind of changes.
It's not secret that I'm a milspouse. With that job, comes lots of new things. Some of them exciting and fun, some just a royal pain in the you-know-what. I kind of have a mix of both right now. See, we're moving to another paradise island! For those that know or follow me, you know that this is where I thrive the most. I just can not wait. Hawaii is home, and always will be, but where I'm going next is new, exciting and a little frightening. There's a lot that goes into moving half way around the world. Some of it dictated to us, some we have to figure out on our own. I'm drowning in lists, lists and more lists. Just when I think one list is done, another seems to pop up out of nowhere! My serious OCD is very helpful at times like these...silver lining. I swear I should write a book on how to travel...anywhere! My most favorite part would be the packing, of course! You know I'm going to maximize every square inch of my suitcase. Yes, I said suitcase. I can't remember the last time I used one of those, but I'm allotted two heavy ones. I'll only use one, and will likely not go over weight. I have a carry-on or two also packed, but that is for all my important, hand-carry stuff. Since I'm going from freezing to tropical just like that, I have to plan my "plane gear" wisely too.
What's all this change, planning and OCDing doing to my psyche??? Oh.my.word! I swear to you, my guts are mush, my sleep in null and my ability to concentrate on any one thing is void (hence, the many lists). People don't deal well with change on a whole. I don't deal well with this, life altering type of change at all. I'm doing everything in my power to keep the self-induced stress at a minimum. I started by removing all of the toxicity in my life. Whether temporarily or permanent, I just can not deal with people who thrive off of, or surround themselves with drama. No room at the inn! I made it through the holidays pretty well and have managed to get myself through the first month or so of this new year without going too looney on anyone. Major accomplishment for me. I know it is directly related to my non-toxic environment. I've also ramped up my use of the word "no". For those that haven't yet figured out this little word, I suggest you do so right away. It's life altering. Even for the most die hard Catholic, your guilt will be gone after the third time you use it. Give it a shot. I guarantee your life will change for the better.
I've also started confronting my fears. Head on. Full gear. No hold backs. As you can imagine, I let everything in my life scare me. I haven't yet figured out why that is other than to make the excuse that it's just due to change. Maybe someday I'll get to the root of that, but for now there's just no time. Suffice it to say, even fun and exciting things scare me to death. This craziness has a domino effect in that the bigger the thing that scares me, the more the little things start to factor in as well. Seriously, I know it's nuts. Some may say that I'm this outgoing, gregarious person, and as an Aquarian I suppose that it's true to some extent, but not really. I'm one of the shyest people you will meet. I hate walking into crowded rooms, whether I know people or not. I hate going to places I've never been (think restaurants) alone. I hate having to meet new people, especially large groups of them. Sounds silly, believe me, I know. Imagine what the thought of getting on a plane heading to a country that is sort of part of the US, but sort of not is doing to my head! This irrational fear is what I truly have to focus on and get over. It's what drives all other stressors in my life. The first step in overcoming something is acknowledging it's existence to begin with...progress!
As you can tell, there really is no purpose for this post (and yes, I know it's been a while since my last one). I guess my point would be that if there are others going through some pretty big life changing events, it's okay to be wigged out, scared, anxious and excited...as long as you are aware of it all and not living in a state of oblivious crazy. Get it together, figure out what is the major factor in making you a nutcase, and get a hold on it. Change is going to happen whether you like it or not. Nothing in life is forever, that's a fact, so get ahold of your self and start accepting this. You don't have to like it, but you also can not stop it. Everyone has their niche when it comes to what works for them. For me, lists and organization. It calms me. Thankfully, I will have LOTS of organization in my future with unpacking an entire household by myself, but I digress. Get your head out of your butt, stop making the people in your world nuts, and figure out what will work for you to get through the event(s). It is possible. If you are one of those people who is teetering on the edge of big change...JUMP! Life can be so much better with a change of scenery!
Life's a beach and then you live on one...again.
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